Peanut Butter Balls recipe – AKA It’s on the net so I can’t lose it…

“Hmm”, I hear you say, “What the hell is a recipe for Peanut Butter Balls doing here?”

Peanut butter balls with chocolate
Hey, someone had to taste test them…

Good question. The answer: Self preservation. You see, every Christmas my family, like almost every family, has a get together. Of course, we all bring something so one person isn’t responsible for supplying everything. I bring Peanut Butter Balls.

Now, I like to say the recipe is mine, but it is actually one I modified and made mine. I am sure it is also someone else’s “secret recipe” because really, just how many variations can there be of Peanut Butter Balls recipes?

So here is how mine came to be:

My sister Vickie likes to cook. she is a good cook, awesome sometimes in fact. One time she decided to make Peanut Butter Balls (this is before she found out she was allergic to nuts…go figure) and passed them out to the family. My son and I took ours home and gave them a try. They were HORRIBLE!

I called my sister and told her so. i also asked what the hell she put in them. She gave me the ingredients and I was a bit flabbergasted when she said paraffin. What the fuck is paraffin doing in the recipe? She didn’t know, she got the recipe from someone else. It was then and there I decided to take that recipe and modify it so the Peanut Butter Balls were edible.

Many hours were spent perfecting the recipe. OK, I won’t bullshit you; I just left out the wax. I presented “MY” Peanut Butter Balls to the family at that years Christmas gathering and they were a hit! In fact, it is nearly a tradition that I bring those Peanut Butter balls. Although lately the resistance to me bringing them to the party has grown because of nut allergies, to which I reply; nut allergies are bullshit. Whole countries rely on peanuts to survive and you don’t hear of mass deaths there because of allergies. Why is America damn near the only country with these allergies? But I am getting off topic here…

When the receptionist at the Police department I worked for at the time asked me for two recipes for a cookbook that was being put together to raise money I of course gave her my recipe. So “my” recipe has now been published!

So here it is; Dwayne Haskell’s famous (oh shut up, it has been published in a cookbook!) Peanut Butter Balls recipe:

  • 1 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup margarine
  • 1 lb. confectioners sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 24 ounces chocolate chips
  • 8 tablespoons Crisco

Mix the peanut butter, margarine, sugar, and vanilla in a bowl with a spoon. You may find you need to work things together with your hands after the initial mixing. Roll into balls about 1″ in diameter and place them in the refrigerator on wax paper. I use a cookie sheet under the wax paper for ease of moving. Leave the balls in the refrigerator until they are cold (approximately 20-30 minutes).

Peanut butter balls
Peanut butter balls ready for the refrigerator

After the balls are cold, melt the chocolate chips and Crisco in a large bowl in the microwave. You will find that mixing frequently helps melt the chocolate quicker.

You can now take a toothpick and pick up each ball individually and dip it in the chocolate. Place the now dipped ball back on the wax paper. After all are dipped, place back in the refrigerator to cool (30 minutes or so).

Alternately, I have found that sometimes the balls will fall apart when dipping with the toothpick so I have used an alternative method the last few years. I use a tablespoon and just pour some chocolate over the Peanut Butter Balls while they are still on the wax paper. This method uses much more chocolate due to waste so more chocolate and Crisco may need to be melted down to have enough.

The yield is dependent on the size of the balls but 25-30 balls should be about average.